Oh and this is my favorite part:
Jason Whitlock brings his edgy and thought-provoking style to FOXSports.com. Columnist for the Kansas City Star, he has won the National Journalism Award for Commentary for "his ability to seamlessly integrate sports and social commentary and to challenge widely held assumptions along the racial divide."
That's his like bio or whatever. Is he edgy because he's black? That's not racist.
"Today's column is not for the simple-minded or sensitive. If you are either, I apologize in advance and respectfully suggest you go read one of the thousand other takes on Alex Rodriguez."
This is the opening paragraph. a) if I don't agree...I'm simple-minded or sensitive. b) you already called me, your reader, nasty names. You can't apologize in advance. c) that's not respectful.
He does, however, have a point on the reading a thousand other takes about Alex Rodriguez. I have, for the most part, been keeping up on the news.
To understand the furor/hysteria regarding Rodriguez testing positive for performance-enhancing drugs, you have to grasp the importance of symbols to any culture, but most especially American culture.
Okay. I'll agree. We do love our symbols. Some of those symbols are people. I would say Obama is pretty much a symbol for hope at this juncture. Lets hope he keeps it that way. I would have said 755 would have been a symbol. Same could be said about .400. Ripken was a symbol. The point, however, I understand. Symbols stand for what we believe is important such as hitting .400 and never missing a game ever. Obama stands for a change from politics as they stand today. Symbols are the tips of the icebergs--they stick out of the water but really, they stand for something much more massive. Like hitting .400. That would be meaningless if it wasn't for the thousands even millions of people who have tried to play baseball.
Cultures do not survive without the vigilant preservation of iconic symbols that stand as proof of a society's righteousness, strength and courage. Because we are the world's melting pot, the maintaining of ethnic/racial symbols occasionally causes major friction and difficult-to-explain double standards.
Yes. I'd agree with that. I will admit that I like Rocco Baldelli simply because I'm half Italian and he's got the most Italian name ever created. Also, he has some serious medical problems and he still can play in the majors. For a team that went to the World Series. But I don't think I've caused any friction by that. Actually...I think the most friction occurs (to me) when blacks or latinos hold up mediocre garbage and rally around them simply because the garbage is black or mexican. Does anyone in the world think it is cool that Obama was voted in partly because he was black and probably didn't lose a single black vote? I didn't vote for Obama. But not because he's black. And I think its criminal that people voted for Obama simply because he was black. That's what causes racial friction. Malcolm X was psychotic. He wasn't a hero. Cesar Chavez fought for the rights of farm workers. Great. I don't think farm workers are strictly mexican. So why is he a mexican hero? Why did that May 1 bullshit occur? Because...I don't appreciate mexicans? And now what? I'm white so apparently I'm stubbornly causing friction because Babe Ruth, Ted Williams and Ty Cobb were great?
Well, throughout our American history there have been four sports that define male machismo — boxing, baseball, football and basketball. As you know, men take machismo very seriously. It is the lone, scientifically proven substitute for having a big Johnson, which explains Napoleon's disease.
Just four? Hockey doesn't get included? And....Napoleon was, well, a general. I think that also might count as a substitute for having a big Johnson when it comes to machismo. You know, killing a bunch of people. Also, weightlifting, MMA, car racing, having a lot of money, driving a nice car, dating a hot woman who might be a slut, winning at video games, vandalism...actually, come to think of it doing anything exceptionally stupidly will probably substitute not having a big Johnson. And, by the way, I'm happy with my Johnson. Also, I don't know why he capitalized johnson. Perhaps he's right. It looks better as Johnson than johnson.
Johnson
johnson
Yup. I was wrong.
Thanks in part to segregation laws, three white men and a mixed-race native American — James J. Jeffries, Babe Ruth, Jim Thorpe and George Mikan — got first crack as symbols of the macho games that matter most in America.
Okay. Here we go. I was born in 1985. I don't know who James J. Jeffries is. At all. And I've heard of Jim Thorpe. I think he was a receiver. I know who George Mikan was. And I do, of course, know who Babe Ruth was. Of them all, Ruth was iconic. Not really anyone else. And what was the point? Yes, America was racist back then. No, America is not segregated today. So...back then, all the stars were white. Well then. Segregation was bad. Okay. Gotcha. Good point.
Jeffries was the first to fall. In an effort to prove the superiority of white men over the American Negro, Jeffries came out of retirement early in the 20th century, lost 100 pounds and took on Jack Johnson in "the fight of the century." Jeffries lost badly and later admitted that even in his prime he would've been no match for Johnson.
I don't know who he was. I don't know who Jack Johnson was (Jack johnson?). And yeah, the early 20th century was very much racist. And I would say that this was more important, racially. And I don't really care, to be honest. The guy came out of retirement and had to lose 100 pounds. I really wouldn't have put any money on him had I been alive at the time.
Jim Brown unseated Thorpe, a native American, as the unquestioned king of football. Bill Russell and Wilt Chamberlain leaped past Mikan on the hardwood.
So, your argument is that black guys are better than white guys at football and basketball. And I like the "leaped". Its racist because black guys can jump higher than white guys. Nice.
Oh and Jim Brown is far from the unquestioned king of football. Joe Montana. Troy Aikman. Michael Irvin. Barry Sanders. Lawrence Taylor. Brett Favre. Steve Young. Emmit Smith. Jerry Rice. Peyton Manning. Tom Brady. Off the top of my head. And yeah Bill Russell and Wilt Chamberlain were good....so were Magic and Bird. And Joe Dumars. And...who was that other guy? Uh...Jordan. Yeah. That guy.
Willie Mays and Hank Aaron took good, hard runs at Babe Ruth, but The Great Bambino is still standing. Today he shares the stage with Brown, Muhammad Ali and Michael Jordan as the greatest of all-time in the American sports that define who we believe we are.
AHA! That guy. Okay. Muhammad Ali. I'll take it. Once again, we neglect the other sports. Golf? Hockey? Golf: Jack or Tiger. Hockey: Gretzky. So now its either 2 white guys and 4 black guys or 3 white guys and 3 black guys. Lets just cherry pick, shall we? Auto Racing: Earnhardt. Tennis: Sampras or Federer. Swimming: Phelps. Aww jeez. I picked sports where white guys (for some reason) dominate. Man. Those racist people are sure keeping the blacks in their place. I mean, that's what sports are all about, right? Disparaging races.
Babe Ruth is not going anywhere without a massive, nuclear fight. His supporters do not care that he dominated a segregated, inferior brand of Major League Baseball.
Yes we do. Yes we do. God dammit. Should we penalize him for something that was out of his control? Check this out Okay. If you don't know anything about baseball advanced statistics at all, scroll on down to "Advanced Batting Statistics". Now take a look at.....roll them drums.....ADJUSTED FOR ALL TIME. Yeah. We care that he didn't have to face the best black, latino, or asian players. We care that that inflated his numbers. Check out EQA. EVERY SINGLE SEASON ADJUSTED EQA IS HIGHER THAN ALL TIME ADJUSTED EQA. You arrogant dick. Its not about race. Its about the fact that Ruth played so long ago and dominated so greatly. Yet, today, he's in the same sentence as Bonds. I don't know how prolific PEDs were in baseball. I don't know if they even helped. I do know that a) Bonds took them. b) they might have helped. c) THE HOME RUN RECORD WASN'T BROKEN UNTIL STERIODS WERE REALIZED TO BE A PROBLEM. This is not necessarily causality. It might be coincidence. It is certainly suspicious.
That's why steroids matter so much in baseball. They distort our appreciation of Ruth's numbers, particularly his home-run stats, the penis-measuring digits of baseball. Chicks dig the long ball.
I think he just wanted to say penis in a nationally distributed column. For that, I applaud thee. And good point. See above paragraph. Perhaps your not as race blinded as I once hoped.
Are white fans really outraged by guys like Barry Bonds, or do they maybe just feel a little inadequate?
Wait nope. He's racist. Seriously? Inadequate? Because...black guys have big dicks? Christ man...that's...really racist. And that's a clever sign. Because they're holding up a clever sign they have small penises? If they were Asians, would they have smaller penises? If they were gay, would smaller penises make their partners happier? (I've actually wondered about that. Unhealthy, I believe)
Also, he makes some good points about steroids being ignored in other sports. Yawn. Never heard that before. I care because I like baseball and the numbers are sacred in baseball because baseball has been keeping track of those numbers for over a hundred years. The Cubs haven't won a championship in over a hundred years. The NFL hasn't been around for a hundred years. THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE IS YOUNGER THAN A BASEBALL TEAM. Which means that the numbers in football are still being developed.
Also, let me add that I don't have much of a problem with white sports fans protecting the legacy of their athletic icons. Black people (and other racial groups) do the same thing.
This is really really really stupid. I protect no one's legacy. If they weren't good, then they weren't good. If they were black or yellow or red or whatever race you want to call them and they were good, then their legacy deserves to be protected from cheaters cheapening greatness. Also: its stupid and racist to root for someone just because they are the same race as you.
As a kid, when Magic Johnson and Larry Bird met on the basketball court, I kept my own stats because I was convinced the scorers cheated Magic.
Oh. Right then. I trust you to be unbiased in your opinion of white players. And black players.
Of our three major sports leagues, the least amount of racial diversity among the journalists/broadcasters covering the games is in baseball. As best I can tell, Joe Morgan is the lone, influential, non-white voice in baseball.
Joe Morgan!! Haha!! And isn't he great! I'll give you another non-white influential voice: Dusty Baker!! HAHAHAHAHAHA. These people are idiots and they happen to be black. That does not make me a racist. And if it does, then fuck it. I'm racist as shit. If you're stupid and black and I'm a racist for saying stop being stupid then...fuck it. Lets hang them or whatever we do to those evil other races. Oh, and another reason that there's less minorities (read: black) in JOURNALISM is because of guys like you, who write that the whole world is racist and all whitey does is keep the black man down. Now, an editor sees a black guy and says to himself "Fuck. Now I'm gonna have to deal with some militant racist shit. And every reader in the world is gonna freak out and email me that we're racist for even employing a crazy fuck like this guy." And yeah, that's wrong. But you yourself, sir, are furthering a stereotype.
That's why in the years before Bonds turned to steroids to keep pace with all the "cheaters" we were sold the bogus story that juiced balls powered the home-run explosion.
Yeah, that story was bogus. Also bogus, your claim that Bonds was trying to "keep pace with all the 'cheaters' ". Oh. I see. Barry was a victim? Barry is the poster child for steroids and not because he's black. Its because he was a dick to the media for so long and the media gets to decide who is the poster child. And one more thing. He holds the all time home run record.
That's why ownership and managers never get adequately questioned and vilified for their role as the No. 1 benefactors and blind-eye proponents of steroids.
Owners never get adequately questioned and vilified. Anyone want to ask John Moores about the stadium that was just built in downtown San Diego? He had to sue to get it done for him. Now, he's selling the team. After slashing the payroll to $40 million. Nobody's questioning the intelligence of having a city pay for a venue for a private team. Now you expect the (ahem) media to ask the hard questions of owners? Why don't you get on that? Aren't you part of said media?
That's why Tom Hicks, the owner of the Texas Rangers, would have the audacity to claim that A-Rod owes him an apology.
Tom Hicks signed A-Rod to a $250 million contract. In a time when no one made anywhere near that kind of money. Hicks bought the Rangers for $250 million. The Twins payroll at the time was $15.8 million. A-Rod is still the highest paid player in the game. After almost a decade of revenue growth and salary growth. No one has caught up to him. And A-Rod cheated to get there. I feel like he owes Hicks an apology as well.
That's why Mike Lupica ran me off "The Sports Reporters" because I refused to allow him to put a black face (Bonds') on a drug epidemic that by the 1990s was clearly colorless, pervasive and initially sparked by white athletes trying to keep pace with black athletes.
Right. White guys took steroids to catch up to black guys who were catching up to Ruth (white guys) who didn't play the black guys anyway and beat up on all the other weak white guys. And I think that Bonds was a good choice for steroids for reasons previously mentioned.
I'm not suggesting a colossal, racist conspiracy. I'm saying it's easy for any of us to fall victim to our biases if our thoughts are rarely questioned by people who look, think and experience life different from us.
You really just did. You can't just end with "I'm not suggesting a colossal, racist conspiracy" and have that discount the entire fucking essay above it. Jesus. Get off my computer screen, you arrogant stupid racist cock face. And who the fuck are you? You're life experience is different from mine? Why? You're a writer. What the fuck do you do all day? Look for racist shit when there isn't any? Fair enough. I concede the point.
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